Breaking down the NHL draft
First-overall pick John Tavares puts on his New York Islanders jersey Friday night.
The NHL draft went down yesterday in Montreal, and it was kind of a big deal, at least for puckheads. John Tavares (pictured at right) went first overall as many anticipated, but there were several other surprises in the first round. Two of The Rookies’ resident hockey nuts, Skating Tomato and Andrew Bucholtz, break down this year’s top 10 picks below.
Read more…
Top Gear Shocker: The Stig Revealed!
For the few of you who watch or know the brilliant British TV show Top Gear (and for those of you that don’t, seriously, just watch this one clip from their American special), you know that the biggest mystery of the show is the identity of The Stig. The Stig is their “tame racing driver” who tests all of the cars they bring in around their track. The Stig is immensely skilled, having put down times better than F1 drivers such as Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button (former guests), and is suspected be a retired F1 driver. Tonight, the suspicions were proved true (or were they). The reveal, after the jump. Read more…
Peyton: Gee, Eli, Father’s Day is today and we still haven’t got Pop a gift! He’ll be home from his weekly forehead moisturizing in half an hour!
Eli: Gosh, I know Peyton! We need to brainstorm real fast for things that Papa would like!
(five minutes of Eli drooling and Peyton hitting his head on a wall)
Peyton: I got it! Cats! Pop loved that cat action figure I made him last year!
Eli: Good start, Peyton! Since Papa is our dad and stuff, we should have a dad cat, like a tiger or something, because they’re bigger than other cats and stuff. Tigers are big and yell a lot like Papa when we both don’t make the playoffs.
Peyton: Yeah! Well, what else does Pop like? A tiger’s a good start, but there needs to be more.
Eli: I saw Papa bring home some Astroglide a couple days ago, and due to my super-awesome education at Ole Miss, “Astro-” has to do with outer space and aliens and stuff. I bet Papa was using the Astroglide to wax his outer space-board or something for the next time he surfs some cosmic waves.
Peyton: I think I’m onto something… how about the tiger is on an outer space board?
Eli: Righteous!
(Peyton and Eli high-five)
Peyton: BUT WAIT! HOW WILL THE SPACESHIP RUN???? It has to be powered by something!!!!
(Eli slaps Peyton)
Eli: Hold your horses Peyton! You’re flipping a lid at nothing! The fuel needs to be something Papa likes to eat. What’s Papa’s fuel?
(two more minutes of Eli drooling and Peyton hitting his head on a wall)
Peyton and Eli together: BUTTERFINGERS!!
Peyton: Don’t forget the speed lines to make it go fast!
Eli: I’m on it!
Eli: It’s missing one thing…
Peyton: You’re right!
Peyton: Perfect, Pop will love this for sure!
Archie: Hi boys! I’m back from my moisturizing!
Peyton and Eli: Hey Pop! Happy Father’s Day!
Archie: Why thank you Peyton and Eli! My, what a great picture! It’s amazing!
Cooper: I got you something too Father!
(Archie throws rotating tie rack back at Cooper)
Archie: WHAT IS THIS SHIT? YOU’RE WORTHLESS COOPER! I HATE YOU!
(Archie goes back to Peyton and Eli)
Archie: I love you boys, thank you very much for this picture. I will treasure it forever. But I have to go boys, I need to beat Cooper with my belt for not getting any endorsements.
Peyton: Gee, Eli, Father’s Day is today and we still haven’t got Pop a gift! He’ll be home from his weekly forehead moisturizing in half an hour!
Eli: Gosh, I know Peyton! We need to brainstorm real fast for things that Papa would like!
(five minutes of Eli drooling and Peyton hitting his head on a wall)
Peyton: I got it! Cats! Pop loved that cat action figure I made him last year!
Eli: Good start, Peyton! Since Papa is our dad and stuff, we should have a dad cat, like a tiger or something, because they’re bigger than other cats and stuff. Tigers are big and yell a lot like Papa when we both don’t make the playoffs.
Peyton: Yeah! Well, what else does Pop like? A tiger’s a good start, but there needs to be more.
Eli: I saw Papa bring home some Astroglide a couple days ago, and due to my super-awesome education at Ole Miss, “Astro-” has to do with outer space and aliens and stuff. I bet Papa was using the Astroglide to wax his outer space-board or something for the next time he surfs some cosmic waves.
Peyton: I think I’m onto something… how about the tiger is on an outer space board?
Eli: Righteous!
(Peyton and Eli high-five)
Peyton: BUT WAIT! HOW WILL THE SPACESHIP RUN???? It has to be powered by something!!!!
(Eli slaps Peyton)
Eli: Hold your horses Peyton! You’re flipping a lid at nothing! The fuel needs to be something Papa likes to eat. What’s Papa’s fuel?
(two more minutes of Eli drooling and Peyton hitting his head on a wall)
Peyton and Eli together: BUTTERFINGERS!!
Peyton: Don’t forget the speed lines to make it go fast!
Eli: I’m on it!
Eli: It’s missing one thing…
Peyton: You’re right!
Peyton: Perfect, Pop will love this for sure!
Archie: Hi boys! I’m back from my moisturizing!
Peyton and Eli: Hey Pop! Happy Father’s Day!
Archie: Why thank you Peyton and Eli! My, what a great picture! It’s amazing!
Cooper: I got you something too Father!
(Archie throws rotating tie rack back at Cooper)
Archie: WHAT IS THIS SHIT? YOU’RE WORTHLESS COOPER! I HATE YOU!
(Archie goes back to Peyton and Eli)
Archie: I love you boys, thank you very much for this picture. I will treasure it forever. But I have to go boys, I need to beat Cooper with my belt for not getting any endorsements.
As fans of sports we are naturally drawn to sports movies. There are the classics that everybody loves, Rocky, Caddyshack, Bull Durham, etc., and then there are those sports movies that aren’t actually any good, but since you watched them when you were little you still love them tremendously. I’ve taken it upon myself to list those movies that were favorites of The Rookies staff when we were kids.
[Note: I guess I haven't made it clear, but the cutoff for these movies is the year the first of us went to Kindergarten, 1992, so any movies made before that time will not be on the list.]
Earlier I ranked numbers 20-14, and 13-6. Today I do the Top 5, but first I’ll recap 20-6, after the jump.
Read more…
As fans of sports we are naturally drawn to sports movies. There are the classics that everybody loves, Rocky, Caddyshack, Bull Durham, etc., and then there are those sports movies that aren’t actually any good, but since you watched them when you were little you still love them tremendously. I’ve taken it upon myself to list those movies that were favorites of The Rookies staff when we were kids.
[Note: I guess I haven't made it clear, but the cutoff for these movies is the year the first of us went to Kindergarten, 1992, so any movies made before that time will not be on the list.]
Earlier I ranked numbers 20-14, and 13-6. Today I do the Top 5, but first I’ll recap 20-6, after the jump.
Read more…
Miguel Olivo and His Magnificently Bad Discipline
Am I an awful person for thinking Miguel Olivo oughtn’t be a Kansas City Royal anymore? He isn’t the worst player in baseball history, and not even the worst in the league right now. But he’s frustrating, and when his lubed-up glove gave Arizona a couple of runs in the 4th inning, I did some yellin’ in The Rookies’ executive chat room. There were a lot of capital letters and swearwords involved.
In a fit of fury, I maaaay have even referred to him as Miguel [Fellatio-administering] Olivo. I regret that choice of words now. All the same, Miguel C. Olivo is a special kind of awful when it comes to most facets of the game of baseball.
Read more…
Andrew Bucholtz
Skating Tomato
chilltown
Chuck Knoblockhead
CoolHwhip
310ToJoba
thederridadrop
JW Koebert
Minda
piniellaspinata
Andy Hutchins
samerochocinco
Shakεy
