Alright, Alright, Alright
CoolHwhip
So here I am, the new guy. I was unveiled to my fellow Rookie writers (funnymen, bloggers, hornballs, etc.) like some mystery opponent in a WWE Title Match by Rockabye.
I want to say I entered to a rousing standing ovation (or whatever the cyber-equivalent is) with gasps and OMGs from the fellow writers.
Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Let’s just say I did for now.
Now what exactly can I bring to this site that these guys (who, in all seriousness, are all great writers) aren’t doing already? Well, I hope I can keep the good times rolling with posts on everything from Forrest Gump to football. I’ll throw in my puns, my obscure movie quotes, my out-of-context observations, I’ll basically just try and do everything that these guys do so well, but with some CoolHwhip taste on it.
A little about me: I am originally from Seattle, but lived in Minnesota through my middle school and high school years. I enrolled at a university in Florida to play football, and am now planning on transferring to a BCS school (that shall remain nameless) this summer to continue playing. I am a fan of the Seattle Mariners, Minnesota Timberwolves, and the Jacksonville Jaguars; those are three seemingly random teams, I know, but because of all my moving I have adopted various, albeit not so good, teams. I guess I just like pain.
Any friends or foes who want to contact me, or send any tips (Editor’s note: Dream big, new guy.), you can do such a thing at CoolHwhip12@gmail.com or follow my Twitter at http://twitter.com/CoolHwhip1.
Oh, and to explain my name:
Go fuck yourself San Diego.
Andrew Bucholtz
Skating Tomato
chilltown
Chuck Knoblockhead
CoolHwhip
310ToJoba
thederridadrop
JW Koebert
Minda
piniellaspinata
Andy Hutchins
samerochocinco
Shakεy
Welcome to the monkey house.
Yet another Kurt Vonnegut reference. I love you guys.
“a BCS school (that shall remain nameless)”-ask 3: 10 to Joba how that tactic worked out (seriously, I understand).
“Now what exactly can I bring to this site that these guys (who, in all seriousness, are all great writers) aren’t doing already?”-just check Piniella’s Pinata’s posts and do the opposite of whatever he did.
I love the “Possibly related posts” feature: “Home school kids are smarter and more behaved.”
He actually had both schools mentioned by name last night in a draft, so us writers know whats up.
aha, see I sat down to watch a little “Big Bang Theory” and found myself so zonked by my current cold that I spent the following hour on the couch and then went to bed.
hey, does somebody wanna email me over the chatzy url, my computer reset and i lost all my saved links.
Skating Tomato, I feel your pain. I wrote most of that intro when I was on NyQuil, trying to keep myself awake.
NyQuil= Cause everybody’s doing it.
I got all excited about the comments. Nope, just us.
/I kid.
@SkatingTomato: I had never read PP’s post before – how could we let such an in-your-face character slip through our grasp?!
You blog… Must be a kicker then. Maybe a long-snapper.
Lots of time on your hands.
Coolhwhip could only dream of being a kicker, clearly does not have enough “swagga” to be one, Laces out Dan!
“Soccer style kicker graduated from Cauler high June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA division 1 records one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname “The Mule,” The first and only pro athlete to come out of Cauler County and one hell of a model America”