Alright, Alright, Alright
So here I am, the new guy. I was unveiled to my fellow Rookie writers (funnymen, bloggers, hornballs, etc.) like some mystery opponent in a WWE Title Match by Rockabye.
I want to say I entered to a rousing standing ovation (or whatever the cyber-equivalent is) with gasps and OMGs from the fellow writers.
Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Let’s just say I did for now.
Now what exactly can I bring to this site that these guys (who, in all seriousness, are all great writers) aren’t doing already? Well, I hope I can keep the good times rolling with posts on everything from Forrest Gump to football. I’ll throw in my puns, my obscure movie quotes, my out-of-context observations, I’ll basically just try and do everything that these guys do so well, but with some CoolHwhip taste on it.
A little about me: I am originally from Seattle, but lived in Minnesota through my middle school and high school years. I enrolled at a university in Florida to play football, and am now planning on transferring to a BCS school (that shall remain nameless) this summer to continue playing. I am a fan of the Seattle Mariners, Minnesota Timberwolves, and the Jacksonville Jaguars; those are three seemingly random teams, I know, but because of all my moving I have adopted various, albeit not so good, teams. I guess I just like pain.
Any friends or foes who want to contact me, or send any tips (Editor’s note: Dream big, new guy.), you can do such a thing at CoolHwhip12@gmail.com or follow my Twitter at http://twitter.com/CoolHwhip1.
Oh, and to explain my name:
Go fuck yourself San Diego.